Watch your language

Choosing AND over BUT/OR

I think "and" is one of the most powerful tools we have in our pockets.

This relies a lot on the fact that I think the language we use to talk to ourselves is in general one of the biggest ways we can impact our lives.

Why And?

I think "and" leads to acceptance. I think "and" leaves the door open for additional information and perspectives and flexibility.

Example 1: It's late. I really should go to bed but I don't want to stop scrolling. I don't want to put my phone away but I know I need to go to bed. I need to do this or I'm being stupid. I hate it.

Rewind.

It's late. This is a time I usually go to bed. And today I am more enthralled by my feed than normal. Is is important I go to bed immediately? Can I enjoy scrolling now and also know it'll be there tomorrow? I'm curious what's best for me.

Example 2: I did so much preparation for my project but it still didn't go well. I wish I wasn't in charge or it would have gone better. I tried but I'm just not good enough.

Rewind.

I did so much preparation for my project and it still didn't go well. It was harder than I thought and I learned some stuff for next time. I tried and I can keep trying. And I'm good enough, project or no.

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But/Or put us in a "one or the other" mindset. You can't have both things, or they counteract each other.

"And" lets us accept that most situations are nuanced.

We do not have to deny our feelings of enjoying staying up late to also agree that going to bed early can be healthy.

We do not have to deny effort we've put in even if the results aren't what we might have been aiming for.

Be gentle and thoughtful with your language.

Be gentle and thoughtful with yourself.