Intentional Practice

Crisis is the wrong time to practice

Me, irritated AF at the therapist in my hospital program teaching mindfulness:

"Okay I get that I'm supposed to be mindful enough to stop and breathe or whatever when I realize I'm spiraling, but if I'm already spiraling, it's too late for the slow and rational thinking I need to stop myself. It's too late."
"Too late for what?"
"To stop myself before I started."
"Who said you have to stop before you start?"
"Well I can't be mindful if I'm spiraling."
"Spiraling is the perfect time to be mindful."

She was right, in a sense, because until I became mindful enough to accept the anxious and disregulated state I was in, until I'd stopped wasting brainpower beating myself up for being stuck there, I wasn't getting out.

She's right, but what she forgot to add is that it's a horrible time to *practice* being mindful if you don't already have a handle on it.

Attempting new skills for the first time while you're feeling your worst tends to go poorly, no matter the skill. Failure steals confidence and motivation. Trying to pull out new therapy skills only when we're already in a bad spot is not setting ourselves up for success.

Mindfulness didn't "work" for me until I started practicing it when I was feeling at least somewhat okay. Easier to learn to play the game when you start with the beginner levels.

If you've been taught skills - breathing, mindfulness, coping - and they don't work for you in crisis?

That may not be a sign you're broken. Or that they're broken.

Just that crisis isn't exactly conducive to learning.