Anticipating Grief

I’m not sure feeling pre-sad helps

A few weeks back I was doing a gratitude exercise and feeling very grateful for my husband and kids. Covid was also on my mind, though, and my thoughts drifted to some worries over something bad happening to them.

My gratitude became almost anguished, afraid to appreciate something too much lest I lose it.

I had to remind myself of something my therapist and I had been talking about recently - not anticipating grief.

We hear a lot about not worrying about something before it happens. It's easy for me to counter that "I just want to be prepared!"

I'm not sure pre-feeling grief has a ton of similar purpose.

I'm not sure making myself feel pre-sad does anything to improve my current situation.

When I find myself anticipating grief, I've started to try to remind myself that if I think I'd really miss it, I also must truly appreciate it.

And that brings me full circle back to gratitude.